Almond butter has been the worst of the butters for quite some time now. We have compiled some of the most up-to-date data regarding the abominable spread.
Table Data
Through extensive research and study, I have been able to create a chart that effectively represents the positive attributes of almond butter versus other nut spreads. Take a look below and see what conclusions you can make.
| Butter vs. Attributes | Peanut Butter | Cookie Butter | Nutella | Almond Butter |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Delicious Taste | Yes | Yes | Yes | No |
| Low Cost | Yes | Yes | No | No |
| Healthy | Yes | No | No | Yes |
| Swimming in Oil | No | No | No | Yes |
As you can see here, peanut butter obviously reigns supreme in comparison to other butters. Almond butter, on the other hand, is inferior in literally every other way. It doesn’t have a delicious taste, costs so much more than the other spreads, and is swimming in oil upon purchase. Its only redeeming attribute is that it is healthy; but if for half of the price you could get peanut butter, why not buy peanut butter?
Testimonials
Here are what some notable people have said about almond butter:
“Almond butter is an abomination, a step backward in human innovation.” - Abraham Lincoln, 1865
“Who invented this stuff? Seriously, who hates people that much?” - Ghandi, 1915
“Our goal in life is to seek inner peace and love for others. That, to avoid almond butter at all costs.” - Dalai Lama, 2019