What You Can Do

With all of this awful almond butter in the world, you may ask yourself: “What can I do to keep people away from consuming this atrocity?” Here's how you can start:

1. Throw It In The Trash

Whenever you see almond butter at your local store, purchase the entire stock and throw it away immediately. If you are on a tight budget, consider informing the store’s manager about the harms of almond butter and your plan to throw it all away.

2. Get Politics Involved

Contact your local representative to let them know about a pressing issue for their constituents: almond butter sucks and no one should have to try it. It is imperative that you make this email urgent so that they recognize the importance of complete almond butter annihilation (and while you’re at it, can you remind them to build another Chik-fil-a on 700 and Bulldog?)

3. Whine And Cry About It

This is the tactic that I use almost every day. If the above two tactics are not convenient for your day-to-day schedule, feel free to curl up in a ball on your kitchen floor and cry about the existence of almond butter on this earth. This works perfectly if you have an extra few minutes between activities.

If you have any other questions, feel free to contact me atmy email here. Viva la Resistance!