Almond Butter is The Worst

In our day of ingredient replacements to accomodate special diets, we are moving forward as a society to recognize the needs of those who are unable to enjoy popular food commodities. Almond and coconut milk have made it simple for those who are lactose-free, tofu has been a wonderful meat replacement for vegans and those with heart issues, and sugar-free substitutes of delicious treats have been accomodating to diabetics for centuries. It seems like these magic replacement foods can’t do anything bad, right?


There has been an abomination introduced into the world, an abomination known as almond butter. With no positive qualities and sometimes twice the price, this terrifying substitute is terrorizing the world with its mediocrity.